Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
