i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm way too hungover for life right now
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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