Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
and you fell through a lawn chair
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
