Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
