somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
