We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
