I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
