I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
