Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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