Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
