we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
