i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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