grandma shit on top of the toilet
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My breasts were aching with rage.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
