I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
