I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
