Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
