my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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