and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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