Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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