There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We have so much sex to catch up on
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
