So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
