I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
