Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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