Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
