is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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