At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
