I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
