bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
