If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Randomize
