I skipped work to stalk him.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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