On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm just crazy horny about you
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
