I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Randomize
