So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
