does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
