So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You've changed since you got that strap on
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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