I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
