She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
