I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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