11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
