i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
