I accidentally burped into my bong.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
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