I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
