All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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