oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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