I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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