Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
