Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
