do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
