My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Hippo gnu deer
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Randomize
