yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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