god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Randomize
