He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
