On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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