Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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